Now that I got that technical post out of the way I can move on to better things.
Today I was out on the golf course and when I first started out I was dragging. I mean don't get me wrong the course is absolutely beautiful and quiet, more than I could ask for, but I was uncomfortable in every way. My body was fatigued and my mind kept creeping to other "things" on my agenda. I feel like my brain needs an agenda to be satisfied. Like a computer, all it wants to do is organize and program what's to come next. The problem is, I don't want to spend my days thinking about what is coming tomorrow.
About work, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it (I have been working at a nature preserve doing restoration), but it is really slow. And the reason I don't like my work is because it requires me to quiet my mind. During work, I am in the middle of a field doing simplistic tasks with little talk. My brain hates simplistic work. It cries, "Please give me something complex to think out so I can busy myself!" So work is a good lesson. It has showed me that in every moment there is something to be appreciative about and something to learn. Working outside in the sun with the birds and native flowers makes me appreciate the beautiful community I live in. Working in solitude all day gives me the opportunity to work on my presence. In the summer, I naturally have no agenda so I busy myself with the present activities-- whether golf or sprinting. Those require skill so it keeps my brain preoccupied. But then you put me in this work situation that requires the skill of an amoeba and I am squirming out of my shell. It is eye-opening to see how short of an attention span I have. And it isn't just me. Whenever I am out with friends I have noticed that if we are sitting around and the conversation quiets, people literally can not go 30 seconds in silence. Immediately, they pull out their phones! I mean I think life gives us those pauses in the conversation for a reason. To reflect and savor the moment. To embrace the energy we are in RIGHT NOW.
The summertime is a bit like candy. We have a piece and it is so sweet we just can't help ourselves from enjoying the whole bag. We get spoiled having such an unlimited supply of sweetness available in front of us. Until it ends. The summer gives us a break from that trapped feeling of a schedule, the gnawing instinct that there's work to be doing. But while it gives us a break it also makes us realize that our routine isn't forced upon. We always have a choice in life to make a change. And if we think we don't or like me must fulfill expectations and always complete that homework assignment, well look at it in a different light. Use the things we don't like to do as a time to appreciate when we have that free time so we will utilize it more correctly (for example you hate reading your college textbook, but then once you are finished you have time to workout and the fact that you are done with it and have nothing to do makes you appreciate that workout even more). And in addition, instead of making the activity a foreign event we always dislike, maybe there's a deeper reason we don't like it (yes, it is boring), but when we realize that there is a meaning attached to every action we do, it can make any activity that less painful. At least that is how it has been for me at work. Now I am using it as a space to reflect and embrace quietness (and come up with ideas for new blog entries!). So maybe once again, my life is all about change. Breaking routines, shifting paradigms, and trying new activities to flavor life. Instead of busying myself, I use this change as an opportunity to become even more conscious with my being.
Have a nice night it is absolutely beautiful today!