Right now, rejection is a big theme in my life for so many reasons. It is scary knowing that, even if I have tried my hardest, someone can still say no to me. "No" is a hard answer for me to receive because I have always wanted things to go smoothly. I have always tried to avoid the answer "no". But unfortunately, as I've gotten older, I have realized that this is certainly not the way to go about rejection because it leads to poor communication and thwarted expectations. For example, if I wanted to go to a party and my mom said no, but I went anyways, she would get angry and I would get in trouble. That is poor communication on my part because we will probably end up yelling at each other and it is thwarted expectations because I chose not to listen to her. Instead, the better way to go about that situation would have been to sit down with her and discuss why I want to go to the party. Both sides need to be fleshed out. I need to sit there and patiently listen, yes, actually listen, to her side as well. And in the end if she says no, I must accept it! Accept it, move on, and understand that there will be plenty of other parties for me to go to for decades to come and most of them will hopefully exceed my expectations more than a high school party.
If you miss the first bus, there is always another one that comes around. And we are so lucky to live in a country where we are granted countless opportunities.
Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, it really amazes me how young I am. I mean it was just 13 years ago that I was in kindergarten when 9/11 struck our country. And now when I stand before the mirror and observe my features, my eyes weary from studying, my hair streaked from too much time in the sun and not enough sun screen, I realize how many people have influenced me and molded me into the person I am today. And in a year from now when I sit at my computer screen I will be in a different place, probably halfway around the country, and finally I will be making my mark on the world. As a senior I fear rejection in a lot of things right now: my colleges, my friends, people I ask to dances, my classes. But then when I truly look back at my situation, these worries make me laugh because in the greater scope of life they are quite absurd. Sure, I can see why they are so enormous to me because right now they encompass my entire life! The choices I make today literally will affect the rest of my life. So it is serious stuff. But as serious as those who are starving in certain regions of the world? Certainly not. But to get to that point where I am helping those people, and helping people here in the US, I need to maximize my potential and make the most of my prospects.
To do that I have to persevere, I must be determined, and I must not try, but take action and do. Rejection is inevitable. Sometimes it hits hard like a lumpy rock jammed in your esophagus, but if I can muster up the strength to swallow that rock, to accept it as is and move on, I know that I will come that much closer to realizing my ultimate goal of helping others. It is dwelling on the past that will keep me stuck and that simply is not worth it because what is written in the fates will happen. So for now, I am going to sit back, breathe, and meditate in the moment. And tomorrow, I will take life by the horns and keep pushing towards my purpose.